Archive for February, 2009

speech on a sidewalk

hold on to your bag, lady
or you gonna lose it
cuz i think you’s
in harm’s way
this city moves fast and
those cars move faster
and your cart
with that bum wheel
ain’t helping any

i see your mouth moving
it’s talking to no one
and no body
is listening good
your temper goes quick
but your loved ones go quicker
til one day
you’s all you
got left

hold on to your bagel, lady
cuz i think you hungry
and that’s all the food
that you got
those onions smell stanky
but your breath smell stankier
and i won’t always be
givin you
this advice


02 2009

In search of a meal, in search of a meal

When our voyage beg-
un, young were we
filling our feed
bag all day, but now
on yon-der shores
we age, while
bay gulls peck hungrily
at our bones.

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02 2009

Haiku #5

a little known fact
all our greatest presidents
ate onion bagels



02 2009

The Connoisseur

He holidays in bagel country
hits all the hottest spots
greets bakers on a first name basis
tastings are complimentary

He holds poppies to the light
muses about maturity
swirls sesames with expert deft
deciphers intricate bouquets

He chews blueberries reflectively
spits them out like the others
but when they offer him onions
he swallows, then goes back for seconds


02 2009

Religious Intolerance

The day Monsignor switched
the Eucharist
out for mini onion Bagel Bites®

Was the day
they sent him
to another parish

And a dark day
for the Church


02 2009

Alma Bagel

This bagel before me
Is onion through and through
I’ll always adore thee
And to thy hole be true

Your onions gleam golden
You’re toasty to the touch
I’ll never behold one
I want to eat this much
I’ll never behold one
I long to love so much


02 2009

Rebirth of Bagel Boy

Don’t call me Bagel Boy, cried Bagel Boy to me
A request no self-respecting, self-conscious tween could heed
So we filled up his gym locker with sesame seeds
And we covered his textbooks with Neufchatel Cheese

Then we prank called his house and said Is your fridge running?
Since at that point we’d run out of bagel-themed ideas

Unlike us, however, this kid was quite cunning
‘Cause he came one schoolday dressed just like an onion
And we didn’t know what, but knew he was up to something
So we left him alone, too scared to make fun of him


02 2009

question for the fda

voodoo bagels
high upon the shelf
infinite power
in your endless loops

when sliced
others are cut
when toasted
another is burned
when eaten
someone else’s breath smells like onion

how can you be legal

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02 2009

Let’s Talk About Heroes

Let’s talk about Heroes
and all the exciting events from last night’s episode
Let’s really get into it
raising our voices
and gesturing with our arms for emphasis
Let’s review all the powers
that each of them has
and think about which ones we’d like
although we’ll be enthusiastic about it
our decisions will be grounded in logic
Let’s mention the Asian guy
and the cheerleader
and the one who’s going to be in that movie
and the one that can fly
(one of them can fly, right?)

Let’s talk about how
I’ve never really seen the show
so I’ve got a lot of catching up to do
Let’s have green tea
and onion bagels
for hours on end
while you tell me all the things that I’ve missed


02 2009

the disappearing light of day

i sat with a bagel
and let it teach me
all it knew

every curve
held a lesson
each bit of onion
contained a truth
the top showed me things
the bottom could not
yet the bottom
shared a wiser view

i discovered
these teachings were lost
perhaps they were
only a dream

in sadness
and silence
and solitude
i ate it
but honestly, it ate me too


02 2009