The Competitor

His belly is unbeatable
His titles, all repeatable
There’s not a bagel in this world
that he would find uneatable

He needs not to bite off the crust
You’ll never see him cough or fuss
He bypasses his teeth
and sends them straight to his esophagus

Dunks each ring in the water
Wins all bouts by a slaughter
And even with his onion breath
he makes out with your daughter

The victor in the square again
The answer to each prayer we send
Our bagel eating champion
makes us proud to be American

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07 2009

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The upper is the most recent comment

  1. (Nicole) #

    anyone who can rhyme "esophagus" makes me damn proud to be an american. or, at least, your sister!

  2. (Nicole) #

    Also, did you SEE THIS ARTICLE? I read it on your onion-bagel newsfeed:

    Must've been reading your poems, dude.

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