The Competitor
His belly is unbeatable
His titles, all repeatable
There’s not a bagel in this world
that he would find uneatable
He needs not to bite off the crust You’ll never see him cough or fuss He bypasses his teeth and sends them straight to his esophagus
Dunks each ring in the water Wins all bouts by a slaughter And even with his onion breath he makes out with your daughter
The victor in the square again The answer to each prayer we send Our bagel eating champion makes us proud to be American
He needs not to bite off the crust You’ll never see him cough or fuss He bypasses his teeth and sends them straight to his esophagus
Dunks each ring in the water Wins all bouts by a slaughter And even with his onion breath he makes out with your daughter
The victor in the square again The answer to each prayer we send Our bagel eating champion makes us proud to be American
