Posts Tagged ‘travel’
Jet-Lagged Bagels
Stiff crusts
Bleary onioned
Puffy bags beneath their holes
Trying to serve themselves for dinner
Trying to serve themselves for dinner
16
03 2009
Room Service
I drank too many alcohols
To keep my thoughts in order
So when he brought my breakfast
I lambasted the porter
And said he was a commie That his wife looked just like Stalin And then I threw some bottles Which made him put a call in
To the mens in charge Who were quite large And they gave me sneers While I pounded beers But I didn’t care And I let them stare I kicked up my feet But when I went to eat
The tray was filled with bagels Yet when I sorted through that junk Not a one of thems was onion And I knew I’d ordered drunk
And said he was a commie That his wife looked just like Stalin And then I threw some bottles Which made him put a call in
To the mens in charge Who were quite large And they gave me sneers While I pounded beers But I didn’t care And I let them stare I kicked up my feet But when I went to eat
The tray was filled with bagels Yet when I sorted through that junk Not a one of thems was onion And I knew I’d ordered drunk
07
03 2009
The Golden One
My father always told me “Onion bagels grow on trees”
And so I spent my school-age years amassing expertise
So I could scour the continents and sail the seven seas
Searching for the only plant that would my soul appease
As time elapsed the hope I had was pushed aside by doubt For I’d found nothing even though I’d traveled all about And so I grabbed my father and irately I did shout He said “I meant to say they don’t – did I leave that word out?”
As time elapsed the hope I had was pushed aside by doubt For I’d found nothing even though I’d traveled all about And so I grabbed my father and irately I did shout He said “I meant to say they don’t – did I leave that word out?”
08
02 2009
Text Message From the Delicatessen
Your bagel has been canceled
due to inclement weather
PLEASE DO NOT HIT REPLY
You’ve already been rescheduled for the next available bagel: TUESDAY 6:05 PM
We apologize for any inconvenience and we’ve upgraded you to “onion” at no additional charge.
You’ve already been rescheduled for the next available bagel: TUESDAY 6:05 PM
We apologize for any inconvenience and we’ve upgraded you to “onion” at no additional charge.
