{"id":1124,"date":"2009-10-27T19:21:51","date_gmt":"2009-10-28T02:21:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/?p=1124"},"modified":"2009-10-27T19:21:51","modified_gmt":"2009-10-28T02:21:51","slug":"poor-form-%e2%80%93or%e2%80%93-the-embarrassed-eater","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/?p=1124","title":{"rendered":"poor form \u2013or\u2013 the embarrassed eater"},"content":{"rendered":"<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">oh<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">crap.<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">rushing<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">to spread<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">schmear on<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">my\u00a0onion bagel,<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\"><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">__<\/span>i inadvertently<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\"><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">_ _ _<\/span>and tragically<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\"><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">__<\/span>went right over<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">the hole again.<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">if that glop<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">drips into<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">my palm,<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">i may<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">die.<\/span><\/address>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>oh crap. rushing to spread schmear on my\u00a0onion bagel, __i inadvertently _ _ _and tragically __went right over the hole again. if that glop drips into my palm, i may die.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[131],"tags":[40,189,186],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1124"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1124"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1124\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1127,"href":"https:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1124\/revisions\/1127"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1124"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1124"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1124"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}