{"id":165,"date":"2009-05-25T21:39:00","date_gmt":"2009-05-26T04:39:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/?p=165"},"modified":"2009-11-02T20:58:49","modified_gmt":"2009-11-03T04:58:49","slug":"how-this-poison-im-about-to-inject-you-with-will-quickly-and-painfully-kill-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/?p=165","title":{"rendered":"how this poison i&#8217;m about to inject you with will quickly and painfully kill you"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">within seconds,<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">it attacks<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">your\u00a0respiration,<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">shriveling your lungs<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">like dried<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">onion flakes<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">soon your heart<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">will feel<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">squeezed in<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">a bagel hole,<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">a tortuous struggle<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">with every pump<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">finally your brain<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">will begin\u00a0to melt,<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">mixing<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">and mushing<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">&#8217;til it turns to<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">cream\u00a0cheese<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">&#8230;<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">excuse me one moment<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">i must<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">go fix breakfast<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">(why do\u00a0i<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">even try this<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">before eating?)<\/span><\/address>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>within seconds, it attacks your\u00a0respiration, shriveling your lungs like dried onion flakes soon your heart will feel squeezed in a bagel hole, a tortuous struggle with every pump finally your brain will begin\u00a0to melt, mixing and mushing &#8217;til it turns to cream\u00a0cheese &#8230; excuse me one moment i must go fix breakfast (why do\u00a0i even [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[65,39],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/165"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=165"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/165\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1166,"href":"https:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/165\/revisions\/1166"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=165"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=165"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=165"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}