{"id":169,"date":"2009-05-29T19:30:00","date_gmt":"2009-05-30T02:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/?p=169"},"modified":"2009-11-02T20:52:42","modified_gmt":"2009-11-03T04:52:42","slug":"please-dont-call-the-aspca","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/?p=169","title":{"rendered":"Please Don&#8217;t Call The ASPCA"},"content":{"rendered":"<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">I think your dog is drunk<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">Did somebody feed it beer?<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">It&#8217;s lookin&#8217; all glassy-eyed<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">And lecherous<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">Like it&#8217;d wanna hump my leg<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">If it had more energy<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">That dog&#8217;s stumbling in circles<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">And barking at the toilet<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">And forgetting to life its leg<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">When it pees<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">Pass me another onion bagel<\/span><\/address>\n<address><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">&#8216;Cause this is pretty fun to watch<img loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/tracker\/300317138275289474-62270477436314711?l=poemsaboutonionbagels.blogspot.com\" alt=\"\" width=\"1\" height=\"1\" \/><\/span><\/address>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I think your dog is drunk Did somebody feed it beer? It&#8217;s lookin&#8217; all glassy-eyed And lecherous Like it&#8217;d wanna hump my leg If it had more energy That dog&#8217;s stumbling in circles And barking at the toilet And forgetting to life its leg When it pees Pass me another onion bagel &#8216;Cause this is [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[78,102,174],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/169"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=169"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/169\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1161,"href":"https:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/169\/revisions\/1161"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=169"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=169"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poemsaboutonionbagels.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=169"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}