Posts Tagged ‘manhood’

man hands

i’m a somewhat sexy man
with fairly sexy, manly hands
they hold my briefcase while at work
and punch walls when i go berserk
they gut the blue gill that i caught
and stroke my beard when i’m in thought
they’re calloused in the yard and such
but women find them soft to touch
yet my palms reach their sexiest
when on them onion bagels rest

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09 2009

Don’t tell him I said this

Between you and me,
there’s this guy
on the docks
who works eighteen hour shifts
He opens
beer bottles
just with his teeth
and catches black marlin barehanded
He benches
three eighty
runs marathons each week
and memorized Pi to ninety digits
He tries law
in Jersey
and wins every case
and always finds contact lenses when you drop them
He tutors
celebrities’ kids
in ceramics
and decorates condos on the weekends
He’s a universal donor
a volunteer firefighter
a Big Brother, a junior senator and a physician
He can solve
all your problems
and answer your prayers —
but not until he gets his morning onion bagel in him,
because before that he’s just a big old worthless sleepy crabby crankypants

topics: ,


01 2009