Posts Tagged ‘writing’

No Regrets

Set out did I intent to try
to make the perfect bagel,
I leafed through trees of recipes
examined every angle,
For months and years between my ears
I lived a baker’s toil,
Yet all these plans stayed from my hands
And not one bagel boiled;

Until said me, why must there be
a single chosen way?
Can’t I just bake when I awake
one bagel every day?
With soul now loosed I mass produced
my favorite onion food,
They may all not be perfect but
at least they’re pretty good.


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15

12 2009


by andy
posted in uncategorized
6 Comments

time to leave

staring at my shoe tops
letting my jaw hang
patting all my pockets
flipping through my brain
don’t want to depart here
with something undone
was that faucet dripping?
is the oven on?
did i leave my wallet?
is the cat unfed?
do i have that envelope
that i needed to send?
just can’t shake this feeling
uneasiness and doubt
wonder if i might’ve left
the onion bagels out…

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14

12 2009


by andy
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On the murky cloud of uncertainty that is the future of the obscure niche poet with a self-imposed and fast-approaching retirement date

Lo! I feel sick!
Alas! It’s so strange!
Can too many poems
On one topic derange?
Will bagels stick with me
Like rabid dogs’ mange?
Or might I shed layers,
And finally change?

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03

12 2009


by andy
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predictions from captain obvious

i predict the sun will stay way off in outer space
i predict that dog will come and try to lick my face
i predict these poems will soon get somewhat repetitious
i predict this onion bagel will taste quite delicious

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28

11 2009


by andy
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Sonnet XII

This bagel’s somewhat darker than I like
Like Cage and Shue instead of Cheech and Chong
Or Jack Bauer instead of Barney Fife
I guess I let it toast a bit too long

These onions overwhelm all with their taste
Like Donald Trump with marble, glass and gold
Or one whose favorite band is Ace of Base
I guess my mixing hand was just too bold

This hole is fairly larger than ideal
Like any screen that broadcasts Carrot Top
Or any speaker playing songs by Seal
I guess my fingers knew not when to stop

But even though my similes are crummy,
I still think that this bagel’s pretty yummy

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17

11 2009


by andy
posted in sonnet
3 Comments

Higher Math

A bagel’s a loaf of bread minus a hole
A gnome is approximately equal a troll
An onion’s a bulb plus some layers umpteen
What was that line about gnomes s’posed to mean?

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14

11 2009


by andy
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No Poem Today

No poem today, I’m not in the mood
Not thinking ’bout writing, rhyming or food
No witty remarks about onions or grain
No crust-laden metaphors crossing my brain
I’d rather just sit here in silence and sorrow
So no poem today, please check back tomorrow

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28

10 2009


by andy
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For Virgil (or Michael Bay)

I only wrote about impressive things
Like gods and wars and nations’ prideful roots
Heroic tales to tickle queens and kings
Recited o’er the lilt of lyres and lutes
And thusly Fame and Fortune knew me well
For plebes rejoiced with every song I’d quill
They’d buy most any word I’d care to sell
Til coffers, and my ego, got their fill
But grandeur can accurse one to dementia
Convincing him to think his waste not foul
With formulaic plotlines in absentia
I now write only of my stomach’s growl;
Though my career is at an all-time low, it
Feels good to be an onion bagel poet

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23

10 2009


by andy
posted in sonnet
2 Comments

plagiarism (II)

pen cap to mouth corner
eyes off in yesterday
seeking some new rhyme for “onion”

bagel poet wannabe
human hole metaphor
seriously dude,
quit stealing my shit

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20

10 2009


by andy
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plagiarism

i’m stealing this poem from william butler yeats
he wrote this exact thing in eighteen ninety eight
he was all, flurbity blafferly smoo
just like i’m now writing balloobity clood
and he was like, hey, look at me, i’m a poet!
then he took a giant bite from a doughnut
i guess that’s the only place these poems conflict
unlike him i’m an onion bagel addict

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19

10 2009


by andy
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