welcome to l.a., suckers!
when traffic’s terrible, slowed to a crawl,
my bagel-bicycle blows by them all,
two tires speeding past motorists’ mirrors,
you’d think they were onions, to see all their tears!
Posts Tagged ‘superiority’
a difference of opinion
itty bitty bagel nibbler
each bite piddlinger than the last
content to eat the slimmest slivers
onion crumbs dissolving fast
some marvel at your self-restraint possessor of a patient tongue but i already cleared my plate and think your brains are full of dung
some marvel at your self-restraint possessor of a patient tongue but i already cleared my plate and think your brains are full of dung
05
09 2009
jealous?
my bagel’s worth bragging
and boasting about
i smirk when i slice it
and toast it all out
your envy is obvious
don’t say you’re not
‘cuz onions cause far fewer
teardrops n’ snot
18
06 2009
nice try buddy but you ain’t foolin nobody
getta loada dis guy
hay getta loada him
hethinks he’s areal bright guy
but isay he’s real dim
hetalks likehe’s a tough guy but iknow he’s justbluffin insteada onion bagels he atean english muffin
hetalks likehe’s a tough guy but iknow he’s justbluffin insteada onion bagels he atean english muffin
14
05 2009
An Obviously Unjust Verdict
I warning you Judge, I’m gonna’ appeal
‘Cause these twelve aren’t a jury of my peers
None of them are as good-looking as me
Their schooling pales next to my Ph.D.
Heads of state never ask for their advice
Party planners don’t sculpt their busts in ice
Their 401Ks aren’t fully vested
And they weren’t just recently arrested
There’s no way you can think this jury’s like me still ‘Specially since onion bagels don’t drive them to kill
There’s no way you can think this jury’s like me still ‘Specially since onion bagels don’t drive them to kill
21
02 2009
On Being Pungent
I’ve seen them staring
sideways and shifty
eyelids aflutter, thinking
I’d better be subtle
but it’s too late
for the flare of their nostrils
betrays them
What is that smell?
they wonder and
their wandering eyes
inevitably fall
to me
I’ve seen d-i-s-g-u-s-t written upon their faces but I can read between the lines I know those looks are not for me but for their friends for the others for the public for a-p-p-e-a-r-a-n-c-e-s
For when they draw closed their kitchen drapes these puritanical politicians these religiously righteous refusers s-t-o-p turning up their noses — they come in close breathe in deep and taste I’ve seen them do it I’ve seen them all
I’ve seen d-i-s-g-u-s-t written upon their faces but I can read between the lines I know those looks are not for me but for their friends for the others for the public for a-p-p-e-a-r-a-n-c-e-s
For when they draw closed their kitchen drapes these puritanical politicians these religiously righteous refusers s-t-o-p turning up their noses — they come in close breathe in deep and taste I’ve seen them do it I’ve seen them all
23
01 2009
An Easy Choice
encircling the Rock
making Paper crumby
Scissors gumming over
Onion Bagel bests all
Onion Bagel bests all
