Posts Tagged ‘animals’

On the murky cloud of uncertainty that is the future of the obscure niche poet with a self-imposed and fast-approaching retirement date

Lo! I feel sick!
Alas! It’s so strange!
Can too many poems
On one topic derange?
Will bagels stick with me
Like rabid dogs’ mange?
Or might I shed layers,
And finally change?


12 2009

predictions from captain obvious

i predict the sun will stay way off in outer space
i predict that dog will come and try to lick my face
i predict these poems will soon get somewhat repetitious
i predict this onion bagel will taste quite delicious


11 2009

It was a real bear to get here, too

What’s up with all this fur?
And stuffing? And paws?
And cute little round ears and eyes?

Where are the blueberries?
And onions? And seeds?
Isn’t this the Build-A-Bagel store?

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11 2009

Bee for Bagel

O, fragrant and flowery bread bouquet
For you my loins tremble,
Aflutter, abuzz
I’d circle your circles all night and all day
Then cover my legs with your crumbs,
Just because


10 2009

lox-flavored schmear

little fishy finning through a pool of creamy cheese
for all he knows, this carton stretches outward to the seas
i’ll snare him and i’ll spread him on the onion bagel shore
until that floppy flipper flaps his fishy fins no more


09 2009

dreamless sleep

dreamless sleep

a dog without a tongue
an unpotted plant
cream cheese smothering the cold, heartless onion bagel that is my life
that isn’t even there

the only sleep i ever know


09 2009

I’ll admit I wiped my mouth on the cat, if you admit you don’t respect my right to privacy

So what tipped you off?
The onion crumbs under his collar,
or the Pepé Le Pew smear of cream cheese down his back?

And what, might I ask, are you doing here again anyway?
Aren’t you supposed to be at work?


09 2009

being eaten by a bear

not unexpected:
razored paws slice easily
through blood-lush flesh,
first bites taken from torso,
slobber is omnipresent

a complete surprise:
final thoughts focus
on the onion bagel,
sitting on my dash

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08 2009


the surgeon prepares his instruments

check (serrated)
check (from the ice bucket)

fingers scrubbed, elbows pointed outward
he approaches his patient
and gets to work

such expert deft!
what practiced poise!
student viewers would surely stare
wide-eyed, wondering
at his untrembling hands
(if said students were actually here)

breath held
lip bitten
he removes the cat hair
from the cream cheese,
steps back from the table (kitchen)
and allows his onion bagel
to recuperate


08 2009

Owing an apology

I kicked the dog right off the bed late last night
(but animals don’t mind if you’re not polite)
Then I made the kids walk ten miles to school
(’cause seriously, have you seen the prices of fuel?)
I cooked food for me but made none for my spouse
(there was just one onion bagel left in the house)
But I burnt it like I was so terrified of
(oh why must I hurt the ones I truly love?)


07 2009