Posts Tagged ‘cooking’

No Regrets

Set out did I intent to try
to make the perfect bagel,
I leafed through trees of recipes
examined every angle,
For months and years between my ears
I lived a baker’s toil,
Yet all these plans stayed from my hands
And not one bagel boiled;

Until said me, why must there be
a single chosen way?
Can’t I just bake when I awake
one bagel every day?
With soul now loosed I mass produced
my favorite onion food,
They may all not be perfect but
at least they’re pretty good.


12 2009

Sonnet XII

This bagel’s somewhat darker than I like
Like Cage and Shue instead of Cheech and Chong
Or Jack Bauer instead of Barney Fife
I guess I let it toast a bit too long

These onions overwhelm all with their taste
Like Donald Trump with marble, glass and gold
Or one whose favorite band is Ace of Base
I guess my mixing hand was just too bold

This hole is fairly larger than ideal
Like any screen that broadcasts Carrot Top
Or any speaker playing songs by Seal
I guess my fingers knew not when to stop

But even though my similes are crummy,
I still think that this bagel’s pretty yummy


11 2009

watching a lightly beaten egg slowly drizzled over an uncut onion bagel

the cup is handled
and notched
it is tilted at a 45-degree angle
now at a 46-degree angle
now 47, now 48

the yellow creeps toward the notch
with absolutely
of urgency

it is yellow and
it is clear and
it is clear bubbles inside thick strands
of yellow and clear
it slides toward the notch
at a 49-degree angle

peeking its bulbous eye
over the curved rim
of the handled glass cup,
it pauses

then plunges

it is a thick elastic strap of yellow and clear
stretching and straining
it is thin
it is thick
it is thin
it splatters on the golden
ring below

steam and spray

cool egg
meets hot crust
and clinging
to every curve

somebody should put that thing in the oven
’cause right now
it’s inedible


11 2009

Limerick #8

To those who find a turkey sandwich boring,
It’s not the meat that leaves your taste buds snoring,
Swap out that stale old bread,
With fresh bagels instead,
Their toasted onion taste is worth adoring.

topics: , , ,


11 2009


There’s a bagel in the oven,
What kind could it be?
Blueberry, Garlic, Onion or Wheat?
Sesame, Chocolate, Poppy or Rye?
Should I peek at it now,
Or just be surprised?


10 2009


I’m the boss here
So do things my way,
You boil what I want
And bake when I say

Your hat is white paper
Your apron is checkered,
Keep them both clean
Or it goes on your record

If I find an onion
In the poppy seed station,
You won’t get a warning
You’ll be on probation

If my yeast goes bad
‘Cause you overstocked,
I’m not even joking
Your paycheck gets docked

Don’t bring me cream cheese
When I wanted schmear,
One phone call from me
Could destroy your career

Just keep the holes hollow
And your attitude in line,
Don’t ever dare cross me
And you’ll do just fine


09 2009

bagel, bagel

saw, saw
drop, drop
press, press
pop, pop
ooh, ooh
plate, plate
pat, pat
scrape, scrape
whiff, whiff
wide, wide
crunch, crunch
bite, bite
taste, taste
’nion, ’nion
what, what
fun, fun


08 2009


my onion bagel is breaded and fried
and crusted with bubbling cheese,
on steaming grits it softly resides,
its hole filled with fresh collard greens

chicken fried memories and larded dreams
greet me with each bite i chew,
and i feel at home on these strange southern streets,
’cause no food says comfort like you


08 2009

The Call

I called 911, fearing the chef was dead,
Cause he slipped on an onion and fell on his head,
I had no first aid kit or hospital bed,
Just kitchen utensils and dough for ringed bread.

Luckily the voice told me just what to do,
Had me form a bagel big enough for two,
It rose ’round his neck so I think he’ll pull through,
‘Cause this brace keeps his head from moving fro and to.


08 2009

Limerick #6

I always am totally irked,
When bagel dough gets overworked —
The shapes fall so flat,
That onions look fat,
And I feel like my chain’s getting jerked.


07 2009