I woke up this morning with me head achin’ split,
Oh onion-ee, oh onion-ah, oh onion-i-o
From drinkin’ two too many whiskeys last nit’,
Oh onion-ee, oh onion-ah, oh onion-i-o
The light from the window was awfully brigh’,
Oh onion-ee, oh onion-ah, oh onion-i-o
And it hurt worse me head when I squint shut me eye,
Oh onion-ee, oh onion-ah, oh onion-i-o
So I went to the bathroom where me aspirin are kempt,
Oh onion-ee, oh onion-ah, oh onion-i-o
When I turned o’er the bottle it was completely empt’,
Oh onion-ee, oh onion-ah, oh onion-i-o
So I stumbled out the room and to the stairwell,
Oh onion-ee, oh onion-ah, oh onion-i-o
But me hand missed the railing and downward I fell,
Oh onion-ee, oh onion-ah, oh onion-i-o
End over end I tumbled toward the floor,
Oh onion-ee, oh onion-ah, oh onion-i-o
Then me poor poundin’ head smashed through the kitchen door,
Oh onion-ee, oh onion-ah, oh onion-i-o
Onto the linoleum I did flop,
Oh onion-ee, oh onion-ah, oh onion-i-o
When I heard the toaster above me go pop,
Oh onion-ee, oh onion-ah, oh onion-i-o
And across the sky flew some things that weren’t toast,
Oh onion-ee, oh onion-ah, oh onion-i-o
But two pipin’ hot halves of the food I love most,
Oh bagel-ee, oh bagel-ah, oh bagel-i-o
End over end they dropped right in me mou’,
Oh onion-ee, oh onion-ah, oh onion-i-o
And wouldn’t you know me head feels better now!
Oh onion-ee, oh onion-ah, oh onion-i-o
