Posts Tagged ‘ingredients’


They call me “Flour Yeaster”
cuz I am on the rise
They call me “Onion Slicer”
cuz I make women cry
They call me “Complicated”
cuz I’m split right in two
They call me “Blissful Breakfast”
cuz I’m your dream come true


10 2009

all-purpose slacker

shiftless sack of flour
bound to no one
but gravity
slinking ever securer in your paper pack

no thoughts of cookies
or loaves
or batches of onion bagels

isn’t it time you learned
a little responsibility?

topics: ,


09 2009

who are the ad wizards who came up with this one?

i bought a bag of bagels
said “onion” on the front
but when i opened them i had
something else to confront
for on each ring of onion
were popping up like weeds
unadvertised ingredients
you’d know as poppy seeds
at first i thought “what gives here?”
and then said “what the hell?”
but soon i realized that this ploy
was really just as well
for if i tried to sell you
a meal of borscht and poop
i think i’d also choose to focus
solely on the soup


08 2009

Old Deli Proverb

Old age can bring you an expanding waist,
But with it come wisdom, and refined taste;

Ingredients, though, fare less well with time,
Learning only of mold, spoilage and slime;

So if you seek bagels that please your tongue,
Keep your baker old, but his onions young.


06 2009