poems about onion bagels

I hate football

Crooked referees with your pocket full of lies

Revising history right before my very eyes

Saying plays are legal even though they’re not allowed

Showing zero shame in pandering to the home crowd

You clearly have no problem selling out your very souls

I bet you’d even call my onion bagels jelly rolls

topics: disgust, lying, sports

12

09 2009

by andy
posted in uncategorized
No Comments

crankypants

this juice is too pulpy

these eggs are too dry

those flakes are too corny

that toast is too rye

this bacon’s too greasy

that hash is too browned

this bagel’s too spicy,

and also too round

topics: disappointment, disgust, expectations

28

08 2009

by andy
posted in uncategorized
No Comments

Damn You, Silverfish, Damn You!

This is super creepy

I wanna leave the room

I feel like Indiana Jones in the Temple of Doom

My knife is all apolished

The cream cheese is ajiggle

But I’m pretty sure I saw my bagel kinda wiggle

Now I’m looking closer

My nose scrunches and scrugs

What I thought were onions are a thousand tiny bugs!

topics: disgust

01

07 2009

by andy
posted in uncategorized
1 Comment

“Pardon me, but these are not onions on my bagel”

My body’s been defeated

My mind just feels deflated

It’s like the waiter squatted on my meal and defecated

topics: disappointment, disgust, horror

22

06 2009