Posts Tagged ‘revenge’

that onion bagel is a real a-wipe

it crashed my car, gave me this scar
and spread falsehoods about me,
it killed my cat and smooshed my hat
and sold our script without me,
it stole my wife and wrecked my life
and on my coattails coasted,
but i don’t mind, it soon will find
revenge is a dish best served toasted

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10 2009

Fat Man on a Bench

that shirt
probably fit him
but not today
the cool breeze
slapping through the treetops
says hello
to his bare, bulbous belly
(but there is no answer)

he is busy
a polish sausage

these sounds
with every bite:
labored breaths through
narrow nasal passages,
wax paper crinkling
beneath pudgy fingertips,
wings fluttering
as attentive pigeons
jockey for position
(should some small morsel fall)

and then one does

the slippery slice
of onion
slides off his sausage,

this, he notices

and as quickly as it fell,
he scoops it up
slurps it down
and catches me staring at him

his revenge is swift:
two hands encircle
his shiny, oil-stained navel,
one quick shake
in my direction
and he returns
to his meal

he’s shown me
his belly bagel

and deep down,
i know i deserve it

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04 2009

Rebirth of Bagel Boy

Don’t call me Bagel Boy, cried Bagel Boy to me
A request no self-respecting, self-conscious tween could heed
So we filled up his gym locker with sesame seeds
And we covered his textbooks with Neufchatel Cheese

Then we prank called his house and said Is your fridge running?
Since at that point we’d run out of bagel-themed ideas

Unlike us, however, this kid was quite cunning
‘Cause he came one schoolday dressed just like an onion
And we didn’t know what, but knew he was up to something
So we left him alone, too scared to make fun of him


02 2009