Archive for the ‘uncategorized’Category

the kitchen burglar

he’s a kitchen burglar, and he’s the best
he’ll shred your stuff like a chicken breast
lurks past linoleum without a whisper
then bags all the lettuce right out of your crisper
no oven is safe, no stove is secure
he swallows up dishes like soup du jour
he’ll spin through faster than a hard-boiled egg’ll
and leave your place hollow as an onion bagel




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07

11 2009

off to the pool

stuffed in the back seat
the four of us ride
our summer shined skin
sticks to the seat’s hide
and to one another
at shoulders and knees
heads tilt toward the window
in search of cool breeze
there aren’t enough seat belts
but we feel no scare
like bagged onion bagels
we’re going nowhere




05

11 2009

I Am a Man

I am a man
I’m mean and strong
My fuse is short
My penis, long
I don’t need help
From here to there
My face and butt
Sprout lots of hair
I guzzle beer
While watching sports
Kids shield their eyes
When I wear shorts
I eat raw steaks
And spicy wings
(Plus onion flavored
Bagel rings)
I never cry
Except at night
Trying on bras
Is normal, right?
I laugh and curtsy
Skip and twirl
Oh man I wish
I was a girl!




04

11 2009

us, now

though you betray my trust
with countless lies you tell,
i shall not break like crust
or hope you burn in hell,
i’ve peeled back all your layers
and cried at every one,
recited many prayers
but now i swear i’m done,
at last i have control
and from you i shall part,
just like a bagel’s hole
i see right through your heart




03

11 2009

perspective

our world is a bagel
so rich and full of life
it teems with grain and onion
each time you slice your knife

on sad days though it’s empty
like nothing’s even there
a hole inside a bagel
mere wafts of spicy air

but lest these thoughts dismay you
or leave you burnt and numb
remember life’s a bagel
and this plight’s just a crumb




02

11 2009

Public Consumption

That bagel in our waiter’s hand
Has sent me to a far-off land,
Where rings encircle dunes of sand
And toasting suns leave my crust tanned

But sadly this scene fades from sight
As soon as I take my first bite,
Warm day becomes a frigid night
Because my order’s just not right –

There are no onions in this band,
It’s plain and pitifully bland
(Yet in my want to be polite,
I swallow hard, and feign delight)




01

11 2009

the band

this unbroken ring shows all
that our union shall not fall,
endless in its circled line,
our two separate lives combine
onion taste we both adore,
mark our love forevermore




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31

10 2009

Plus they’ll probably smell like onion

City apartments cost so much dough
And yet their prices continue to grow
Just when you think bagels can be scored
Dark crusty holes are all you can afford




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30

10 2009

Past Mistakes –or– Breakfast Is On Me, Beyoncé

You told me if I like it then
I shoulda put a ring on it
(Which I never did for you)

But I like this onion bagel
Way too much to ever lose it
(So I put it in a stack of two)




29

10 2009

No Poem Today

No poem today, I’m not in the mood
Not thinking ’bout writing, rhyming or food
No witty remarks about onions or grain
No crust-laden metaphors crossing my brain
I’d rather just sit here in silence and sorrow
So no poem today, please check back tomorrow




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28

10 2009