Archive for June, 2009

please ignore the cannibalistic overtones

busy little bagel
buzzing like a bee
trying to fill these toasters
and spread all that cream chee

if you can’t get them finished
for this morning’s meal
i’m afraid your little
onion brain is gonna peel!




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10

06 2009

Keep Your Day Jobs

Yesterday the bagel baker
swapped shops with the pizza maker

One threw onioned dough up high
like it was a hand tossed pie,
The other used a knife to thrust
gaping holes in deep dish crust

The bagels came out of the fryers
looking like deflated tires,
While pizzas became topping bowls
as melting cheese fell into holes

Neither pleased the cerebellum
but no one had the heart to tell ’em




09

06 2009

the truant

punk kid
slouching on the sidewalk
spitting
smoking
winging onion bagels
at the elderly

where’s your mother
anyway?




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08

06 2009

See how the darkness overtakes the light

See how the darkness overtakes the light,
A blanket shadowing these balls of dough,
They rise, arise again to higher height.

Some men see plain as all that’s pure and bright,
And when an onion drags this taste too low,
See how the darkness overtakes the light.

The skillful baker does not feel such fright,
And adding flavor helps his crowds to grow,
They rise, arise again to higher height.

He forms his seamless rings all through the night,
Too rapt to ever through his lone window
See how the darkness overtakes the light.

At dawn he sets his ovens to ignite,
His spirits climbing with the fire’s glow,
They rise, arise again to higher height.

But tired hands turn dials far too tight,
Hot flames upon pale crusts do death bestow;
See how the darkness overtakes the light,
They rise, arise again to higher height.




07

06 2009

The Bucket List

How many bagels must I try
before I can contented die?

If I select first an onion,
the answer I suppose is “one.”




06

06 2009

the grind

working weeks are long and drab
they seem to never end
you run in circles five days straight
then monday start again

try as you might to spice things up
they stay so very plain
you rise, you eat, you work, you sleep
then do it all again

though weekends mean to be more fun
the job’s taken a toll
too tired to raise a toast all night
you crawl back to your hole

and buried with the bulbs dimmed low
mere sleep becomes your goal
’til monday’s work awakens
in your heart a gaping hole




05

06 2009

but he don’t know what’s cookin’ – or – what’s coolio gonna’ eat for breakfast now?

there ain’t no bagel like an oniony bagel
cuz’ an oniony bagel’s got style
so when you see a young baker
pourin’ onions out his shaker
then ya’ gotta’ give that baker a smile

i said 5-6-7-8
get your bagel on my plate

gonna’ gonna’ eat mine, and then yours
gonna’ gonna’ eat mine, and then yours




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04

06 2009

For Barla (aka Marry)

My bagel once was bare,
unbearable to stand
I’d barely get it in my mouth
then spit it out — so bland!

But then while at the market,
this morsel I did meet
It made my meal taste marvelous
— a magic onion treat!

At once I wanted nothing more
than for us to part never —
So soon we’ll whet our appetites
in wedded bliss forever!




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03

06 2009

I feel that I have a strong, personal bond with musical artists that I have never, nor will ever, meet

My favorite rapper got disrespected
So naturally I’m quite affected
It’s like a bagel that I selected
Was onionless — I’m so dejected!




02

06 2009

The Note

iF YoU evEr WAnT
TO seE yOUr PrecIoUS
onIOn bAgeL AgAIn

leAvE tHReE DoLLArs
iN uNmaRKed COinS
uNDer tHe gReEN beNCh
IN THe paRk

EncL: crUMbs
(tO ShOW i meAn bUSiNesS)




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01

06 2009