Posts Tagged ‘drugs’

Rabbi’s Delight

Come up to my crib, ya’ll
And don’t forget yo’ bib, ya’ll
‘Cuz we gon’ eat some bay-galls
And crumbs gon’ straight be sprayed all
Over yo’ baby da-ddy
And in yo’ momma’s Ca-ddy
Yo’ gramps be gettin’ mad, G
Cuz’ crumbs stick to his plaid, see?

Now when I eat my bagel I be eatin’ da’ whole thing, yo
So don’t be try’n ta’ jack me Esse just cuz’ I’m a gringo
The shorties like the sweet ones and the old folks like the wheats
But any kinds-a bagels are the kinds I’s likes ta’ eats

Some suckas like a sticky bun (bun)
And toast-eatas can eat my gun (gun)
You think yo’ gold chain weighs a ton (ton?)
My bagel’s all blinged out with uhn (yun!)

My baby’s got Gucci, but my bagel’s got onions,
My baby’s got chronic, but my bagel’s got onions,
My baby’s got babies, but my bagel’s got onions,
My baby’s got herpes.


12 2009

Duly Noted

When Snoop Dogg asks you
To break ‘im off a piece
Of Onizzle Bagazzizzle,

He probably isn’t talking
About your Onion Bagel.


06 2009

first, the bad news:

the dealer’s corpse was rotting at a quite alarming rate
i couldn’t get the bags of blow to all fit in their crate
on accident i handcuffed my own ankle to the grate
and my partner in a panic crashed our car right out the gate

the fire from the hill was now engulfing the estate
and the sirens in the distance signaled our impending date
i didn’t have much choice but to accept my destined fate
so i grabbed an onion bagel, said a prayer of thanks and ate

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02 2009

onion bar baby

i met her at an onion bar
i could see in her eyes she was gone pretty far
she said “look at my tattoo!” but she pointed to a scar
we danced at the onion bar

she pulled me in the bathroom
smoke so thick you could scoop it with a spoon
the music was muffled but the drums they still boomed
we kissed in the bathroom

i said “how do i know you ain’t gonna bust me?”
she said “didn’t i tell you you could never trust me?”
i pulled out my toaster, but it was kinda rusty
she had a bagel, and it was kinda musty

but that didn’t stop us

we sat around and ate some more
we sat around and ate some more
we sat around and ate and then

i tried to drop the bagel and grab onto her hips
but she said “you gotta hold it steady, so the cream cheese doesn’t smear across my lips”


01 2009


seems oh so overwhelming
feels a little too Plain
Seeds of all sorts
tend to bunch up my shorts
And Garlic
leaves a bad tasteĀ in my brain

what a wasted opportunity
makes me thirsty as a flea
Cheese Ones are disquieting
(they make me feel like dieting)
And Egg
would revolt the bourgeoisie

only serve to clog my toaster
will destroy you just like meth
Jalapenos, leave me be
For there’s just one kind for me
Give me Onion
or give me a swift death!

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12 2008