Posts Tagged ‘history’

For Virgil (or Michael Bay)

I only wrote about impressive things
Like gods and wars and nations’ prideful roots
Heroic tales to tickle queens and kings
Recited o’er the lilt of lyres and lutes
And thusly Fame and Fortune knew me well
For plebes rejoiced with every song I’d quill
They’d buy most any word I’d care to sell
Til coffers, and my ego, got their fill
But grandeur can accurse one to dementia
Convincing him to think his waste not foul
With formulaic plotlines in absentia
I now write only of my stomach’s growl;
Though my career is at an all-time low, it
Feels good to be an onion bagel poet


10 2009


In the beginning
There was toast
And we looked
And we saw that it was okay

Grain begat flour
Seed begat onion
These begat dough
Which then formed a ring

We baked it
We broke it
We ate it
In remembrance of then
And in thanks of how far we’d come


05 2009

a valuable non-lesson

i heard that if
you cannot learn
from your past experience

you’ll have no choice
and will be doomed
forever to repeat it

so though i’m quite
about the onion bagel

i’m careful not
to ever be
taught a thing while eating one

topics: ,


04 2009

Ma Bagel

Ma Bagel used to run this town
and everybody in it
She held the House Reps in Her palm
and puppeteered the Senate

Unchecked Her business crushed the hopes
of each entrepreneur
If you craved onions, wheats or plains
you had to go through Her

Her reach was omnipresent
with prices nearing rape
She ruled all with a Doughy Fist
that no one could escape

When finally a lawsuit took
Her hands from the controls
The hungry people growled no more
“Ma has me by the holes!”


03 2009

Room Service

I drank too many alcohols
To keep my thoughts in order
So when he brought my breakfast
I lambasted the porter

And said he was a commie
That his wife looked just like Stalin
And then I threw some bottles
Which made him put a call in

To the mens in charge
Who were quite large
And they gave me sneers
While I pounded beers
But I didn’t care
And I let them stare
I kicked up my feet
But when I went to eat

The tray was filled with bagels
Yet when I sorted through that junk
Not a one of thems was onion
And I knew I’d ordered drunk


03 2009

leadership is important

i know you’re married
but so am i

and when your bagels pop you know
we’ll both know that it’s time

so don’t you worry
’cause i won’t press

and when you say let’s wait
you know i’ll sit my onion on its shelf

and soon our spouses join in
’cause the union means we’re all in

and any effing forcefeeders
are totally like stalin

topics: , ,


03 2009