Posts Tagged ‘magic’

Higher Math

A bagel’s a loaf of bread minus a hole
A gnome is approximately equal a troll
An onion’s a bulb plus some layers umpteen
What was that line about gnomes s’posed to mean?

topics: , ,


11 2009

The God’s Honest Truth

‘Twas yesterday I kissed the stone
high upon the tower
And though I could not have been gone
e’en more than an hour
Its wond’rous spirit did come down
filling me with power
To charm the skin off an onion
and sell a bag’l flour

topics: , ,


03 2009


Bagel flying through the air,
what is it that put you there?

Do magic onions make you soar,
or are you just a metaphor?

topics: , ,


03 2009

question for the fda

voodoo bagels
high upon the shelf
infinite power
in your endless loops

when sliced
others are cut
when toasted
another is burned
when eaten
someone else’s breath smells like onion

how can you be legal

topics: , ,


02 2009

Let’s Talk About Heroes

Let’s talk about Heroes
and all the exciting events from last night’s episode
Let’s really get into it
raising our voices
and gesturing with our arms for emphasis
Let’s review all the powers
that each of them has
and think about which ones we’d like
although we’ll be enthusiastic about it
our decisions will be grounded in logic
Let’s mention the Asian guy
and the cheerleader
and the one who’s going to be in that movie
and the one that can fly
(one of them can fly, right?)

Let’s talk about how
I’ve never really seen the show
so I’ve got a lot of catching up to do
Let’s have green tea
and onion bagels
for hours on end
while you tell me all the things that I’ve missed


02 2009

tell ’em jimmy the elf sent you

if your tire runs flat
and you haven’t a spare
and also you’re a magical forest creature

try using a bagel
with tread made of onions
i know a guy who could get you quite a deal


12 2008