Archive for March, 2009

warnin

me bagel is watched by me trusty guard donkey
ee’s woolly and watchful and if ye hear im honkey
ye best turn afoot and git outta dis place
or eel frighten the onions right offa ye face!

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21

03 2009


by andy
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1 Comment

City Bagel vs. Country Bagel

In the city, crusts get hardened
you can’t grow onions without a garden

But in the country, you’ll find rest
the fires are toasty and the cream cheese fresh

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20

03 2009


by andy
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A Less-Than-Famous Love Letter From Kilmainham Gaol

Molly, oh Molly, I’ve been a damned fool
an utterly mad imbecile
I’ve left you unmarried, unloved and alone
while on onion bagels I’d fill

But now that I’ve said it, it seems not insane
in fact I feel it’s well thought through
For bagels awaken a new love each day —
unchained and unfettered by you

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19

03 2009


by andy
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lazy

lazy little bagel
afloat along the river
barely bobbing
so slowly spinning
content to be carried,
noticed by no one
but for the fishes
who wonder in its wake,
“what tastes like onion
over here?”

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18

03 2009


by andy
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Green Onion Bagel (VII)

Although
Often
Eaten by
O’Somethinged
Americans
Once
Every
Annum,

You never
Actually see them
Offered
In Ireland.

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17

03 2009


by andy
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Jet-Lagged Bagels

Stiff crusts
Bleary onioned
Puffy bags beneath their holes

Trying to serve themselves for dinner

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16

03 2009


by andy
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Bagel on the Train Track

There’s a bagel on the train track
ever’body get back
It’s a-comin’ up fast
how we gonna’ get past?
If it’s mighty hard n’ stale
it’ll knock us off the rail
But if it’s flavored onion
to hit it is the real sin

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15

03 2009


by andy
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Belly Bomber –or– What are Fred Schneider, Cindy Wilson and Kate Pierson Gonna’ Eat for Breakfast Now?

I ate me a bagel
was as big as a house
and it’s heading on down
my digestive tract

I had me a bagel
coulda’ fed about twenty
but I ate it all
and now my burps taste oniony

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14

03 2009


by andy
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Flight

Bagel flying through the air,
what is it that put you there?

Do magic onions make you soar,
or are you just a metaphor?

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13

03 2009


by andy
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spring cleaning

if
you find
a bagel

while
you are
vacuuming
the couch cushions

please
do not
shed a tear

but
if it
is onion,
shed several.

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12

03 2009


by andy
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No Comments

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