new! - "boiling emotion" search story

the search for life's meaning can take many shapes - in this case, it's a ring.

in the pad

tv sports for hours and hours
unbrushed teeth and undrawn showers
breakfast pizza, dinner eggs
onion bagel crumbs on legs
what a messy, manly day
can you tell my wife’s away?


12 2009

Rabbi’s Delight

Come up to my crib, ya’ll
And don’t forget yo’ bib, ya’ll
‘Cuz we gon’ eat some bay-galls
And crumbs gon’ straight be sprayed all
Over yo’ baby da-ddy
And in yo’ momma’s Ca-ddy
Yo’ gramps be gettin’ mad, G
Cuz’ crumbs stick to his plaid, see?

Now when I eat my bagel I be eatin’ da’ whole thing, yo
So don’t be try’n ta’ jack me Esse just cuz’ I’m a gringo
The shorties like the sweet ones and the old folks like the wheats
But any kinds-a bagels are the kinds I’s likes ta’ eats

Some suckas like a sticky bun (bun)
And toast-eatas can eat my gun (gun)
You think yo’ gold chain weighs a ton (ton?)
My bagel’s all blinged out with uhn (yun!)

My baby’s got Gucci, but my bagel’s got onions,
My baby’s got chronic, but my bagel’s got onions,
My baby’s got babies, but my bagel’s got onions,
My baby’s got herpes.


12 2009

On the murky cloud of uncertainty that is the future of the obscure niche poet with a self-imposed and fast-approaching retirement date

Lo! I feel sick!
Alas! It’s so strange!
Can too many poems
On one topic derange?
Will bagels stick with me
Like rabid dogs’ mange?
Or might I shed layers,
And finally change?


12 2009

Why I’m Staring Suspiciously at an Appliance

The streetlamp went out, right when I crossed
My laptop froze up, and my work was lost
I just need this bagel, toasted with cheese
Why must tragic things always come in threes?


12 2009

Limerick #9

Reginald Williamson Bagel the Third
Married an onion bulb (or so I heard)
Until honeymoonin’
He thought she was human
(I think the whole thing’s completely absurd)

topics: ,


12 2009

interflavor marriage

few think that we’ll last
from two sides of tracks
so they point and laugh
just ’cause we contrast

onion and plain snacks
– each its better half


11 2009

i fill you up

i fill you up
with onion layers
crust and carbs and cream cheese
i fill you up
with fragrant flavors
pleasing tongue and taste buds
i fill you up
in many ways
and whenever you want it
and though i’m glad
to fill you up
i stay forever empty


11 2009

predictions from captain obvious

i predict the sun will stay way off in outer space
i predict that dog will come and try to lick my face
i predict these poems will soon get somewhat repetitious
i predict this onion bagel will taste quite delicious


11 2009

Haiku #14

new message received
explicit close-up of hole
onion bagel sext


11 2009

sleepy thanksgiving

whipped cream


11 2009