Author Archive
Sonnet IX
I once had all for which I could have dreamed:
A warm place where my chilled body could toast,
My crust was hale; my cheese was soft and creamed
And there! My better half that I loved most
But fast like startled dough my fortunes fell With flesh, once fresh, turned stale and hard as stone; She parted without even a farewell Leaving me bitter, broken and alone
Now as I drink away my passing years (Enough to make a dozen men go blind), My glass collects these falling onion tears While just one slurring thought rolls round my mind:
Perhaps she would still be with me tonight, If we’d have borne a mini bagel bite.
But fast like startled dough my fortunes fell With flesh, once fresh, turned stale and hard as stone; She parted without even a farewell Leaving me bitter, broken and alone
Now as I drink away my passing years (Enough to make a dozen men go blind), My glass collects these falling onion tears While just one slurring thought rolls round my mind:
Perhaps she would still be with me tonight, If we’d have borne a mini bagel bite.
15
09 2009
I hate football
Crooked referees with your pocket full of lies
Revising history right before my very eyes
Saying plays are legal even though they’re not allowed Showing zero shame in pandering to the home crowd
You clearly have no problem selling out your very souls I bet you’d even call my onion bagels jelly rolls
Saying plays are legal even though they’re not allowed Showing zero shame in pandering to the home crowd
You clearly have no problem selling out your very souls I bet you’d even call my onion bagels jelly rolls
12
09 2009
Soon
Soon is slippery
It’s well-oiled dough
It may rise fast
Or take ages to grow
Soon is layered
Though tasty at first
The bigger your bite
The greater your thirst
Soon is deceptive
A hole baked in bread
The promise of fullness
That’s empty instead
Soon is crooked Like my furrowed brow Though I’ll see you soon, I miss you right now
Soon is crooked Like my furrowed brow Though I’ll see you soon, I miss you right now
09
09 2009
Thanks for the rhyme, Zach Galifianakis
Smelly bag of onion bagels rotting in the sun
It’s such a shame to see you go to waste
Though I know decaying rings aren’t good for anyone
I can’t help but long for just a taste
I want to feel the crush of moldy fuzz against my teeth Gorging on you right here in the yard Then break your crust and tongue the putrid liquid underneath — Does that make me some sort of retard?
I want to feel the crush of moldy fuzz against my teeth Gorging on you right here in the yard Then break your crust and tongue the putrid liquid underneath — Does that make me some sort of retard?
08
09 2009
the knife unguided
some days it’s hard to stay centered
even when you feel quite sharp you just lose the grip on your handle and find yourself someplace so dark
your blade’s edge veers far from the middle and slices too close to one side succumbing to such an imbalance each oniony cut makes you cry
forethoughtless you throw yourself forward right into that toaster abyss
but half of you never feels warmer and the other half burns to a crisp
even when you feel quite sharp you just lose the grip on your handle and find yourself someplace so dark
your blade’s edge veers far from the middle and slices too close to one side succumbing to such an imbalance each oniony cut makes you cry
forethoughtless you throw yourself forward right into that toaster abyss
but half of you never feels warmer and the other half burns to a crisp
