new! - "boiling emotion" search story

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the search for life's meaning can take many shapes - in this case, it's a ring.

Forever Selfish

I’ve had my share of onion bagels
and told my share of lies
Like “I’m all out of onion bagels”
when I had vast supplies

But sadly I can’t blame these fibs
on errors of my youth
For even in old age my hungry
mouth tells this untruth




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16

09 2009


by andy
posted in uncategorized
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Sonnet IX

I once had all for which I could have dreamed:
A warm place where my chilled body could toast,
My crust was hale; my cheese was soft and creamed
And there! My better half that I loved most

But fast like startled dough my fortunes fell
With flesh, once fresh, turned stale and hard as stone;
She parted without even a farewell
Leaving me bitter, broken and alone

Now as I drink away my passing years
(Enough to make a dozen men go blind),
My glass collects these falling onion tears
While just one slurring thought rolls round my mind:

Perhaps she would still be with me tonight,
If we’d have borne a mini bagel bite.




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15

09 2009


by andy
posted in sonnet
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Talent, Schmalent

What do the Hoff and that British guy know?
“America’s Got Onion Bagels” is a much better show.




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14

09 2009


by andy
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Haiku #10

Packing dilemma:
Carry-on onion bagels
Or risk checking them?




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13

09 2009


by andy
posted in haiku
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I hate football

Crooked referees with your pocket full of lies
Revising history right before my very eyes

Saying plays are legal even though they’re not allowed
Showing zero shame in pandering to the home crowd

You clearly have no problem selling out your very souls
I bet you’d even call my onion bagels jelly rolls




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12

09 2009


by andy
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Limerick #7

Today when I sat down to breakfast
I threw a gosh darn bullshoot heck fest
I had to complain,
For my bagel was plain –
What a hot tranny onionless wrecked mess




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11

09 2009


by andy
posted in limerick
1 Comment

The Ever-Changing Fortunes of the Guy Who Brought Bagels to the Tailgate Party

He was derided, then shunned
But when they tasted his onions,
Everyone there
Bought him
A beer.




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10

09 2009


by andy
posted in uncategorized
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Soon

Soon is slippery
It’s well-oiled dough
It may rise fast
Or take ages to grow

Soon is layered
Though tasty at first
The bigger your bite
The greater your thirst

Soon is deceptive
A hole baked in bread
The promise of fullness
That’s empty instead

Soon is crooked
Like my furrowed brow
Though I’ll see you soon,
I miss you right now




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09

09 2009


by andy
posted in uncategorized
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Thanks for the rhyme, Zach Galifianakis

Smelly bag of onion bagels rotting in the sun
It’s such a shame to see you go to waste
Though I know decaying rings aren’t good for anyone
I can’t help but long for just a taste

I want to feel the crush of moldy fuzz against my teeth
Gorging on you right here in the yard
Then break your crust and tongue the putrid liquid underneath
— Does that make me some sort of retard?




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08

09 2009


by andy
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the knife unguided

some days it’s hard to stay centered
even when you feel quite sharp
you just lose the grip on your handle
and find yourself someplace so dark

your blade’s edge veers far from the middle
and slices too close to one side
succumbing to such an imbalance
each oniony cut makes you cry

forethoughtless you throw yourself forward
right into that toaster abyss
but half of you never feels warmer
and the other half burns to a crisp




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07

09 2009


by andy
posted in uncategorized
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