Archive for the ‘uncategorized’Category

No rest for the yeasty

No rest for the yeasty:
mixed up,
beaten,
and left alone in the dark

They still expect you
to rise,
right on cue,
as if nothing ever happened

Did onion bring those tears to their eyes?
Or guilt?

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02

10 2009


by andy
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Overdoing It

In case you wonder why this morning finds me with a frown,
And why I grab my temples like some throbbing weighted crown,
The answer is as clear as my butt cheeks are through this gown:
I had too many onion bagels last night on the town.

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01

10 2009


by andy
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obituary

man crushed to death
by giant bin of onion bagels

it’s how he’d always hoped he’d go,
says wife

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30

09 2009


by andy
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lox-flavored schmear

little fishy finning through a pool of creamy cheese
for all he knows, this carton stretches outward to the seas
i’ll snare him and i’ll spread him on the onion bagel shore
until that floppy flipper flaps his fishy fins no more

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29

09 2009


by andy
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one

does one small fib mean i cannot
still be an honest man?
if i skip just one football game
am i not still a fan?
might one psychotic passing thought
mean i’m no longer sane?
can one stray dried-up onion flake
make one’s bagel not plain?

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28

09 2009


by andy
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am pm

stinky
smelly
breakfast bite

lingers
with me
through the night

scented
snores reach
such extremes

onion
bagels
fill my dreams

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27

09 2009


by andy
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onion junkie

he’s an onion junkie
he just can’t get enough
that’s why you shouldn’t ever
get hooked on the stuff

his eyelids twitch and
his palms are all sweaty
he grates it like cheese
onto his spaghetti

in bagels and soups
alone fried and bloomin’
that guy eats more onion
than should any human

he’s dingy and smelly
and looks really strange
ignore what he says
and don’t give him change

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26

09 2009


by andy
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chauncey

fat boy walking round the playground parking lot
chest-high onion bagel rolling at his side
latex riding crop propelling it along

thwack thwack thwack
thwack thwack thwack

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25

09 2009


by andy
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all-purpose slacker

shiftless sack of flour
bound to no one
but gravity
slinking ever securer in your paper pack

no thoughts of cookies
or loaves
or batches of onion bagels

isn’t it time you learned
a little responsibility?

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24

09 2009


by andy
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from the depths

champagne bubble baths
dogs on trampolines
smiling faces of foreign-born children
sweat socks in the wash

lint traps overflow
toothless grins subside
vets overcharge for miniature neck braces
onion bagels bob to the surface

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23

09 2009


by andy
posted in uncategorized
No Comments

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